Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
