just tell him i said nine months
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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