I just threw up on my dentist
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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