Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
