I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
