she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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