how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
