so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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