I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
