Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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