Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize