butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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