i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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