My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
