so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
