i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize