If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
