Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
