I cut my penus on the lid.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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