kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
