I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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