I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
