dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
