hotel room ftw
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
