Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
