It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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