Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize