I wanna passion pit in your ass
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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