And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
