But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize