Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
