It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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