Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
