just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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