I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
