Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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