sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
