I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
