I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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