don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
