I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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