Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize