you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
