I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Come share oat with me in your robe
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
