i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
