you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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