I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
