brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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