I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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