Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.

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(817): View more from Texas

No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.

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(815): View more from Illinois

it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..

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(206): View more from Washington

My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating

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(563): View more from Iowa

I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.

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(207): View more from Maine

I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.

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(585): View more from New York

Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?

(480): View more from Arizona

I knew you two would hit it off

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