we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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