Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize