i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
