ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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