i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
handjob tips. give me some.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
