If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
