Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize