is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
