I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
