you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
