I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
