I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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