perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
