And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
