I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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