That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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