Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize