we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
