i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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