I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
