Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
