I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
