Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
