so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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