You can't special order awesome
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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