She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
