Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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